How much should you help?

I guess I want in part here to apologise before I start my blog today.
You see the thought that is going through my head is the invisible line that comes as my son has got older. Where do you draw this line of independence? I will be the fist to raise my hand as being a bit over helpful as a mum. My daughter who is older, I still help out, but if she makes a mistake or messes up a job (she freelance writes) I leave her to it now days. Often she has little money after the rent, and I let her get on with it. I do over cook meals, so I freeze the leftover meals, and she can have these, so she is not staving BUT that is it. If she doesn’t get her work done, so what, she has to find out herself; you need to work to pay the rent. I used to help to much she had every thing, and I had nothing. Now with my son where and how should I help? This thought keeps jumping into my brain these days, and I think that this is to remind me I should not ‘carry him!’ but how to encourage him is just a bit harder to sort out. You see he is happy; he has his computer, food and me to talk to. Mum nags about other bits, so he just forgets them. He has a collage on-line course to do, but with being ill that has taken a dive. He is not looking towards his own future in any shape or form. He is happy in the now. I want him to be able to cope well without me not just sink! However, how I can get this is just out of my grasp. He will not shop on his own and even will not with anyone but me. He can cook and clean the house but as for any form of income, we hit total refusal. He hates going out and near crowds he freaks out, on the inside, and it takes him hours to settle down. I worry about his future, his life as an adult. I do not want him lonely and sad but enjoying life in the full, dare I say it even having friends!
OK rant over, my worry shared.

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